the best ingredient !

This thought is running around in my mind for a long time..only that i havent penned it down (as usual:p) ... what makes a relationship last long ? (ofcourse with happiness) its quite a common question and we get a variety of answers- understanding, love & affection, sacrifice, compromise etc etc !! but in my opinion the two main ingredients are respect and accepting & loving the person for whom he/she is. i place high importance to "respect" as a key factor in building a relationship. i'l try to focus only on the first aspect because the second factor can itself be penned as a separate article (which i'l do in a few days)! "respect"- why in double quotes ? its not the kind of respect i mean which we show / exhibit towards our superiors. because most often than not these are only showy in nature :)! respect is "not taking the other person for granted". it is the basic courtesy which we must show towards the other person. it could be a damn simple thing. getting back to a missed call or replying for a very casual sms..but it means a lot..after all, simple things matter a lot in life. most often relationships becomes a mishap when there is no balance in the relationship. the balance of proper give and take.. when i mean give and take its not business. its just returning the love with gratitude which the other person has showered. when ever there is an excess of love from a side while its not reciprocated at the desired level, frustration sets in.. there is bound to be a feeling of "i'm neglected". its not just the understanding or the deep affection that matters. its plain respecting the feeling of the other person. its quite common for the people in a relationship to expect this respect-to be looked upon-to be treated well.most often, the kind of courtesy / respect will be unduly high during the beginning of any relationship. it starts eroding if the person gets a feeling "afterall he/ she's mine" over a long period of time. time and again we have heard people say" u were not like before"and its a main cause for frustration in a relationship. this "afterall" is the trouble-maker. respect lies in obliging to small requests/ wishes-the plain basic courtesy. the proverb"smallest act is better than a grandest intention" is well suited here ! its not just a ritual.. it has to come from within ! its not a formality. its jus expressing to the other person that you truly care for them! when we show so much courtesy and politeness to a stranger, why are we not willing to shower it on a person who means so much to us? keeping the balance in the relationship , treating the other person well will go a long way in keeping a healthy and happy relatiosnhip ! :)

HAPPINESS RESIDES IN ONESELF.

All of us have one pursuit in common. It’s the pursuit of happiness. Whatever we do, we expect bliss at the end of the activity. We are in search of that happiness. But why should we call as a pursuit? If we call it as a pursuit, then ever we will be in that unattainable quest. Let’s call it as enlightening of what is already present.

James Oppenheim was absolutely right when he stated that “The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.” It is true that happiness resides in oneself. Life becomes a misery when we search for the happiness from external sources. Happiness comes from within. It’s a state of mind. If we choose to be happy, no matter whatever comes, we will still have a reason to smile. But if we start searching for the happiness outside, we will always have a reason to frown, no matter how well things go on.

Life has given us so many reasons to smile and stay happy but our mind is never self-content and the pursuit to happiness goes on.

Morning dew, fresh flowers, sight of the full moon, touch of a new born, smile from a stranger in a crowd, pat from our boss for a small feat, a lengthy conversation with a long lost friend and the list goes on….. All of them can bring us happiness if we really choose to acknowledge them.

A happy person spreads happiness everywhere. The exuberance in a person is contagious. That is why we are joyous when we are with certain people. Their spirit is so soaring that we will always want to be around that person. When we embrace such happiness and positive energy from within, our aura is bound to produce happiness around us.

Stay happy !
With Smiles,
T.V.Muthu Abirami.

intentional??

its like a "hi..long time..no see?" to my blog! there are those ideas which always revolve around my brain and which i always wanted to verbalise in the blog(just at least to keep my account active :P ) but sheer laziness keeps me away ! anyways, this one was just another thought of mine which i wanted to write in. it is about SARCASM.. i have two issues here to be dealt with( a typical advocate's slang. couldn't help avoiding it :) ) point number 1. am i sarcastic?? 2. why do people get sarcastic? to answer question 1. I'm not generally sarcastic.. in fact i hate it when it comes to sarcasm. when someone tries to be sarcastic with me, it really gets uncomfortable. i get a feeling that the person who is sarcastic is cold-blooded in nature. its like they are full of pessimism and all that i can feel around them is only negative vibrations! i get desperate to bid goodbye to the one I'm talking with. i thought they were not nice people. i always wanted to be a "nice" gal. so sarcasm is generally not my way of talking. but then i gave a thought to what i speak sometimes with certain people. taking a small detour here :) its human nature to think that all the time " IM GOOD. WHAT I DO IS CORRECT. I'M A NICE PERSON". is it not common to think that way?? i always thought that i never hurted people with my way of talking. we all have reasons for what we do. so even if our speech is sometimes sharp, we make up for ourselves that why we talked that particular way had reasons. (too bad..i know) coming back to sarcasm! i analysed that with some people i tend to be sarcastic. i wanted to get down to the root of my thought process. at this point, I'd like to converge issue no.1 and 2. i found out that sarcasm is a result of frustration. frustration on a person and frustration on a situation and the third category is pessimistic attitude on life. i found out that if am sarcastic with someone i had bottled up emotions on them and i never found an out-let to tell them what i really felt or what i wanted to tell them. it could be something like they irritated me or hurt me through their actions/ words or something that i perceived as an insult, and i never had an opportunity / courage to tell them how i felt at that point of time or when they never even bothered to listen to what i wanted to tell. even though they might not had the intention to hurt me/ irritate me. chances are that i perceived so. but whatever might be the reality, my emotions need right out-let on the right person. i was never intentional on being sarcastic. it so happens :(! i realised that i was not at my worst when i expressed my anger aloud. i was at my worst when i held the anger inside and i turn cold even without my knowledge. i remember the proverb "HE WHO IS REALLY HURT DOESNT SPEAK". when i turn cold, i deny to come out of my shell. i do not even want to show that am angry/hurt! Linda was right when she wrote on Aries woman"When the Aries woman has been really hurt, she turns from fire to ice. Her fire burns hot and dies quickly. Her ice can be eternal." ( gosh !!!!!!!!! so many detours :p)sarcasm is a state of mind for me in between the two extremes-loud anger and deep silence. its like i am desperate to let the person know that I'm hurt yet feeling so bad that i do not even want to tell that. its comes out as sarcasm! i learnt that when I'm sarcastic the other person doesn't enjoy the conversation and feels all that i feel when i had someone throwing sarcasm at me. it in fact worsens the situation! i imagined how i portrayed a obnoxious image of myself in that person's mind! :( its always better to take the extreme position. shout out aloud what we have in mind. at least we are honest about it ! we never fooled ourselves.nor irritated others with our sarcastic(sharp) tongue. the second category of frustration -on situations is easier to rectify. after all we become happy once the situation is in our favour. but the third category of frustration - pessimistic attitude on life in general is the most hard to reform ! they are those people who make life miserable for themselves as well as the others who come in contact with them. they are energy suckers ! all that we experience around them is a negative vibration full of complaints. these people never enjoy even the slightest happiness in their life. to them feeling happy is a sin. they drown themselves as well as others in sorrow all the time. god ! i don want to write any more on this category. it makes me feel unpleasant.

in the end, all that i decide is i should never be sarcastic on anyone. either i should have the courage to let them know that I'm hurt, in a direct manner or else i will pray god to give me a heart to forgive the incident. after all "WE ARE NOT HUMAN BEINGS HAVING A SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE. WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS HAVING A HUMAN EXPERIENCE"

nice quotes

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love." ------------------------------------------------------------------BY NEIL GAIMAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"A sad thing in life is that sometimes you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go.”

“In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.”

“Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it's when he ignores you and you still love him, it's when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry.”

" i do not think much.. i do not think often.. but when i think, i think of u "

"I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out.And tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart.And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you.But those words may forver stay in my heart-locked inside.Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too... but I'll never know"

how true !!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

me? an advocate?

Five long years have passed so quickly ! i cant imagine myself donning the robes! very funny:) came in to law school in 2003 with so much spirit and enthusiasm. but over the years i have grown only lazy ! i only feel i havent learnt anything in the 5 years while all along my school days i dreamt of learning so many things when i enter the law school. im feeling so empty now and i have not achieved anything over the 5 years academically! i have not mastered even the tip of the ice berg syllabus! poor me :( its very true that realisation dawns late. i'm sure this will be the case for any law school student. wrote the semesters just to pass through. still in the end, by god's grace i managed to get a decent aggregate of 65% . there will always be fear element before the results ! prayers will go in tons and millions ! nightmares of being failed ! now after crossing ten semesters, when i look back, the memories are sweeter ! the wait has finally come to an end ! my passion-my dream-my ambition-"to become an advocate" is going to happen in another few days ! thanks be to the almighty. i'm not filled with joy;neither am gloomy. i just feel i have more responsibilities to take on; more targets to achieve, before i feel elated and "on top of the world". in another couple of years, i must achieve them. i only pray for the almighty's continued blessings and guidance who must give me the determination and motivation to achieve things !

the recurring pattern !

this is not my usual energetic post ! (though i have posted only three, they were full of energy) i have given myself to depression. (though, it will be short and i'll recoup just after tonight's sleep) i just had a "heart-break" and the pattern is just recurring as it used to be ever since i had my first crush ! all my crushes were terribly one sided (though not very serious) and never ever i had the guts to let my intentions known to the other person. if at all i make any advance, it will be very subtle and the other person often misses the clue(or should i have to call it as "they chose to miss the clue"?? or is it destined so? am clueless on that part). and all these one sided crushes would already be making advances to some other gal (will pursue quite seriously), which i will never know in the begininng, while i dream here (though, only to a little extent). one fine day (sooner or later) i will come to know of this, only to find myself shocked and surprised, while heavily disappointed too.
i always wished that the next one wouldnt be this way. but again to my disappointment, it will end up the same way. of late, because of this, i fear even to trust my intuition. i never know whether its my imagination, that the other person is also interested in me (because of the dream i build, i take evry action of the other person to be positive towards me), or is it the real solid truth which my intuition brings me. now i conclude that its only the rosy picture which i paint! i had no great belief in fate or destiny. but now i trust that everything is predetermined by God. otherwise i wouldnt be seeing such a recurring pattern in all my "shattered dreams". its just the same. the events turn out in the same way. more than worrying for the lost crush, i worry only for the recurring pattern. the question "why me alone?" takes a monstrous proportion. everytime for my own good i wantedly break my thoughts away from my past. but somehow or the other i go back-back(er)-back(est) and fall in to a short depression. today is such a day. i just came to know of the "bad news" only this evening and my usual thoughts whirl-wind my mind and i just cant stop thinking about it. "why me alone??????????????" uh-! just fed up plainly. i must give myself time to heal and be normal. it does lowers my confidence level which i hate to the core. i only thank God, for the stronger self i'm;for all my self-motivated spirit; i recoup my usual energy-level and confidence level in just a day and all my depression will vanish soon. but the memory will always haunt me! but it does makes me stronger. i only wish good luck to myself, so that next time atleast this pattern is broken( i dont mean i need a new pattern of heart-break :p) my dreams about "MY" knight in shining armor gets even more stronger,for he is not around me right now in any physical form and my imagination goes wild thinking "how would he be? when will he reach me from behind the clouds?" and the dreams are worth for all the pain i undergo! "hey......when will you reach me?????????????? "

THE TEMPLATE CHANGE

long time since i scribbled something here !! after a long thought process ( can be read as vetiness) did not know what else to do.. then came the thought of this blogging !! as i signed in, i thought i can change something with the looks of the blog..so screwed in to the options of templates. previewed everything..but nothing was satisfactory.. was kept on changing... couldnt come to a definite one.. one among the reasons was the thought of color-psychology.."what if i choose this color..does that mean my thought process was------...wat if i choose the other color....does that mean im like------...."blah blah blah.... atlast i concluded that i will go with my favorite color"green" no matter what the psychology abt that meant and found it better than the others...liked quite few other colors and options also..but green over rided everything...[coludnt come out of such thoughts how much ever hard i try not to get too much into mind-analysing and psychology :( ] as i kept doing these changes, there came in another philosophical thought.. "do looks really matter?? is it not the content that matters?" im always a staunch supporter of the content and not its look.. have taken this as an excuse for my bad handwriting,to blame the examiner... ( how wicked am :)) !!! ) have taken this as an excuse whenever i feel lazy to dress up for some occassion (my conscience asks me now... have u ever been "not lazy"?? you ARE lazy all the time!!and u write 'WHENEVER I FEEL LAZY' me replying: "ok ok ok...no more damage") but excuses apart, i have always felt that it is only the contents that matters and not its appearance...be it people or things....!! i question myself at this juncture whether i lack the sense of appreciation towards arts ??the aesthetic sense?? if i had to answer this, my reply would be "i dont know" so far i havent felt any mind boggling effect on seeing any painting or artistic work?? i have had great reverence for the artists..i have thought that they were great people..blessed and talented people..i used to wonder in awe about the person...but the painting??? "i still dunno" now back to looks vs content...!! content scores at full swing over the appearance.. again question arises in me in this form..."but is it not necessary for the content to get the attention and appreciation it deserves?? for that, the looks will help in achieving it.. so you can never discard the value of appearance" may be this is what the true position is..but i cant admit it with full heart... i still feel " what value has the appearance got? nothing.. " my conscience questions me" then for what the golden reason you changed the template and was confused about the effect of it in color-psychology?" with a typical law student answer, i try to convince my conscience " the color-psychology thought was actually in relation to the content what the color meant about..it was not a launch pad for my content... moreover i changed it because i was jobless...i wanted to do something and i came to blogging" my conscience :" huh !!" i do not know whether my conscience was convinced. atlast be it content or look...color psychology or artistic work....whatever be it...i had something to scribble on here... i could produce in writing atleast a little of what my brain does....but too restless even now with lot of other questions...." you wanted to write about something else originally..but you finished off with some other thing..............so you really dont care for looks?? blah blah blah " but feeling too lazy to put them into typing" then why the golden reason you are doing blogging??".... peace to my writings.. counsel rests the case... :)